PTSD at Homegoods

This post was from last July of 2019

I went to Homegoods with my friend, and now I haven’t step foot in my Homegoods story here in Williamsburg before today. All the bad memories of spending hours upon hours in Homegoods connecting T.J. Maxx, watching my mother dearest buying out the store and piling up my cart with things that I needed to buy. With my own money that I cannot afford. I was very unconformable and broke out in sweat looking around the story with my friend, yet it was the first time in a Homegoods since early 2016. My friend didn’t find what she was looking for, so we were in and out.

When I called my grandma, telling her what happens. She told me that she had the same feeling when she went. It made my grandma sick just thinking about her daughter did to us. We can’t step in a Homegoods without triggering our PDTD. I want to cry for what my mom had put my grandma and me through.

The next day I read a news-break that says that; “Milwaukee Mother Tied Up Son With Autism And Set Him On Fire.”  It’s not the first time that I read something sinful like this happen. Years back, in 2015, I learned that they found a Philadelphia man who was 21 with Cerebral Palsy in the woods. “About 100 yards off the roadway here, laying in leaves. He’s got a blanket over him and a Bible on his chest. He has a wheelchair about 10 feet from his body.”

I just hate this! 🤬🤬🤬 I want to cry and wonder why? Did my biological mother, Linda Conant try this to do this to me? Sadly yes. That summer of 1999, One morning, my mom came in on me, taking a bath and almost killed me in the bathwater after she beat me by washing my hair. It was a terrible memory of my mother’s outrage. At first, I was dumbfounded for her being mad at me.  I made a mistake using the last of her bath salt. I was sorry and gave her no lip. When she told me to wash to the shampoo out of my hair, she held my body underwater with her hands pushing down drowning me. Then I was too scared, too young to realize what the hell was going on. I was lucky that she stopped and acted as nothing happened. Later on that day, she confessed that she was the worst mother ever as she apologized to me. Mom made me swear not to tell a soul, not even my dad.  I pushed it far, far, far now in my mind to forget it.  All because I spilled her bath salts by mistake? Why what up with that? Just bath salt that one can buy for one dollar at Dollar Tree.

I never told a soul until 2014 long after my dad had passed away.  I don’t hide things about what had happened to me NOT ANYMORE!!! I speak out against child abuse and rape as a survivor. I speak out now from domestic violence not as a victim but as a survivor. I BLESS GOD EACH DAY TO BE ALIVE!!